I can't believe it's already January...let alone, 2010. I can honestly say this is not where I thought I would "be" at this point in my life. I had a solid plan. I was on track for SO LONG. And I was SO CLOSE to having it "all". And in just a SECOND it was torn away from me. But I realize now that I have to fight to get it all back. And I will. It's my life. Nobody can take that away from me.
Christmas was a huge disappointment...not the gifts though!!! Christmas Eve started out great. Although the weather was, as they say, "FRIGHTFUL", Aunt Alice and Uncle Clarence were still wiling to make the drive and Tina and Ry were coming as well. The REAL bummer of the holidays? Gramma was not home, nor could we safely GET her home because of the treacherous weather conditions. I was furious about it. No one should be alone on Christmas, and she WAS. God, that just tears me up inside. But I digress...
We all came together on the Eve of Christmas to celebrate like we always do. The tree was lit, the gifts were wrapped with giant bows and festive paper...the food was making the house smell awesome and it was "TIME". Tina and I exchanged our gifts first. I really didn't share with ANYONE what I was getting everyone else...so this was a funny deal...I opened mine first. VS jammies with matching slippers. I could only LAUGH! Because little did Tina (or anyone else) know that I had bought her the EXACT SAME THING!!! WTF?!?! Do sisters mind's think alike or WHAT!??! It was at that point that I started to feel "iffy". To make a long story short, I spent the majority of the evening laying on my bedroom floor crying in pain. No way was I going to the ER on Christmas...been there, done that...I was gonna power through this! And I did...but unfortunately, it was too late. Auntie and Uncle had left for the evening feeling that I needed to rest. Augh. In the end, I finally made it to the couch around 9:00 or so and opened gifts with my parental units, Pat and Tina and Ry. It wasn't the same without us all eating dinner together and playing games all night and searching for the "Christmas Pickle" hidden in the tree. I felt robbed. And yet, so blessed. After the gift opening Tina and Ry also departed as the weather conditions were worsening. So it was an early night. Christmas Day was no better....the weather was indeed, horrible yet and we still couldn't make it to see Gram. In the early evening while organizing all the gifts under the tree, I just burst into tears. Pat asked me what was wrong and I couldn't even answer him. Finally he said, "it's just everything, isn't it?" I nodded. He knows Christmas is my time to "shine." This year that didn't happen. I was snuffed out like a friggin' candle. So I just crawled into bed and decided it wasn't worth the fight. So I slept.
The week between Christmas and New Year's was no picnic. So many small things happened. Like my BlackBerry crapped out on me and Cellcom was making it utterly impossible for me to keep my professional demeanor while dealing with them. It all ended with me stomping out of the place with a new plan in place. And low and behold, it worked. For the hours of struggling I did with the (alleged) "customer service" department in DePere, all it took was a short explanation and 20 minutes for one other Cellcom dealer to have me fully hooked up with an UPGRADED BlackBerry and all the accessories. I mean, I just don't undestand how two separate establishments, who essentially, work for the same goal, can be complete polar opposites when it comes to the way they handle their customers. All I can say is "bye bye Depere" and "hello P-town!" Granted that was a really vague explanation of the events that occurred, but trust me when I say, it was a helluva day!
New Year's Eve was originally planned to be spent at a hotel near home in a jacuzzi suite. But due to my desire to buy the new BlackBerry instead, we cancelled those plans and decided to stay home with mom and have dinner with her, since Daddy was working all night. I mean, why should she be alone on New Year's Eve? So instead, I planned to make a scrumptious steak dinner, for mom, Pat and myself. It worked out well...daddy went off to work around 4:00 and then I began. Oven roasted potatoes, tenderloin steaks and sauteed 'shrooms and onions. Around 6:30 we sat down to dinner and it was AWESOME! YAY ME! I love being all "chef-ee" as anyone who knows me at all will tell you. I ate way too much and then decided to work it off by playing my new Wii games. Pat and I did the Sport Resort archery for an hour or so, and then we moved on to Mario Galaxy, which, really takes a lot of strategy...I mean, between the two of us, we had a hard time getting out of some of those worlds. It's nothing like the classic Nintendo version that came out in the early 90's. No no...this is all 3-dimensional and just INSANE!!!! At first Pat thought the game was "childish" but let me tell ya...he's the one who eventually was in control when he killed off our last life. So now we have to start allllllllllllll over again! BUMMER! Anyway, he hit the hay early because he had been bobcat hunting all day with my bro, and mom fell asleep early as well, since she had a Tom Collins earlier...so I was left all alone to watch the mighty ball drop in NYC at midnight. I had put in a movie that would conveniently end about 15 minutes before the ball drop. It all went down and really...nothing felt any different. I was just TIRED. So I went to bed.
Of course I'm omitting a couple things here...after all the pain and suffering on Christmas Eve...I had a seizure...and also about an hour and a half into New Year's Day (per Pat's recollections) I had another one. I don't remember ANYTHING. It's odd. I always "know" when I've had one when I wake up the next day. Everything is really "foggy"...like if I TRY to remember it's just hazy and there are just flashes of memories. And then there's the pain....good grief the pain of feeling like I've been hit by a Mack truck. And an overwhelming feeling of weakness. But I came around pretty quickly New Year's Day. I got up and watched the Rose Bowl parade, and I even started to undecorate the family tree in the living room. Of course those two small events wore me out and that was about all I achieved that day.
Since then, everything has been fairly quiet. Which is good. I enjoy "quiet". I don't enjoy the cold weather or the loads of "white dirt" the keep getting dumped on us, but we only have a few more months of this and then spring is upon us. Since I'm pretty much cooped up for that time, I plan to do A LOT of baking. Experimental bread making and some pretty fantastic cakes as well. I will definitely post pics of the stuff that turns out GOOD. If you don't see any pics or posts of my creations, well...then you know things did NOT go well and it's probably going to be a touchy subject with me at best.
With that, I will say this...I believe in my heart that 2010 (twenty-ten) will be a MUCH better year than 2009. IT HAS TO BE. There is no other option. I have a sense of renewal and my ambition to get to my goals in life have never been higher. I have been working on a list of things I want to accomplish in 2010 and I will post that in a future entry...I even asked for suggestions from my friends via my Facebook page. Although some of them were fairly goofy, it was a fun thing to do. And one of my major goals? To keep up with this blog a lot better...I will MAKE time for this just as you have to make time for everything else that is important in your life. Priorities, priorities, priorities...and my motto (as my friend once told me) "work first, then play." Those words ring out in my mind alllllllllllllllllllll the time. So, thanks my friend...you know who you are!
Happy New Year everyone! Cheers to 2010 and a decade full of promise, hope, happiness and love!