Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Yup, it's definitely that time of year again!  THE GOOSE MAFIA rides again!  We've had several excellent hunts and some that were definitely tucking away in the back of our minds as "learning experiences."  I will detail out the majority of our hunts soon, as I am currently pressured for time.  We've had a brutal schedule, having to be out in the field and completely set up and ready before dawn even breaks.  Then it's home for only a couple hours to regroup and decide where to go for the afternoon hunts.  We took this morning off to catch up on many of the things that have beeen going neglected for a couple weeks...this blog of mine, INCLUDED.  I have so many photos to share and so many great stories.  We've got a great crew this year and we're well on our way to our season goal of harvested geese.  With that, I'm off to jar up the pasta sauce on the stovetop (canning I've been neglecting...) and drop it in the pressure cooker and then it's time to get ready for the afternoon hunt!! Woot! Woot!!! Goose Mafia....OUT.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Wedded Bliss-ful Times!

Saturday. 8:30 a.m.  Tiddy and I depart on our cake tasting expedition for the day!  We had a 9:15 appointment at Cake Anatomy in Kaukana and we were set to pick up cupcake samples from Hilltop Bakery, also in Kaukauna.  When we walked through the doors at Cake Anatomy, I thought Tiddy's eyes were going to fall out of her head! She stifled a "SQUEE!" and just let out a sigh.  The cakes in the showroom were GORGEOUS.  We both locked in on the same one....almost exactly what she's looking for.  Soon Dawn came out to greet us and the meeting began.  Tiddy asked alot of good questions and the cake samples were scrumptious!  The cakes there are SO DENSE and MOIST that you can't possibly stop eating it once you start! The buttercream is fantastic...and it's made with real BUTTER.  Awesome.  Tiddy was totally enthralled with the confetti cake, while I was mesmorized by the chocolate chocolate chip (really, need I say more?)  And so we gathered our information and when we walked out Tiddy was so elated that we ended up in a sisterly embrace and squeeling like a couple little school girls! LOL  Then it was off to Hilltop Bakery.  We didn't have a formal appointment there, and when we arrived, the person who actually makes the cakes wasn't even there.  We just picked up our boxes of cupcakes, rifled through a book of cake photos and I jotted down the base price list in my BlackBerry.  We weren't overly impressed, which is a bummer because I had high hopes for that little bakery on the corner.......the cupcakes however, were pretty good.  A little on the dry side, but the flavors were yummy!
After stopping back at Tiddy's to say hi to her hubby-to-be and  the kids, she was whisking me away, back home, so I could get ready for the afternoon goose hunt with P.A.T. and The Godfather Goose.  We were particulary excited about this set because we had seen the geese in this exact spot just that morning.  Pat rushed off to the landowner's more than once that day...they were never home! Finally he caught someone who said it would be ok if we hunted there.  So we were stoked!  Pat and I packed up and TGG was set to meet us at the location.  When we headed down the trail to "the spot" I saw a dust of cloud right about where we were supposed to hunt...ugggghhhh....the landowner was there, disking the very field we saw the geese in.  My heart SANK.  But there was a picked cornfield right next to that field so I told Pat we were sticking it out....I had a good feeling despite what had just transpired.  So we started to set up, IN THE DUST CLOUD that the tractor stirred up on every pass, but hey, we are die-hard hunters and what's a little dust in the name of a good hunt?? Bah! Nothing!  Soon TGG was with us, setting up decoys, camoflauging his blind with corn leaves and stalks the picker missed.  By the time we were done, the farmer was gone and all was quiet and the blinds looked PHENOMENAL!

That's a pic of the Godfather Goose's blind...I was particularly proud of how his turned out!  Then the wait was on...the sun was dipping below the woods quickly and we were sucked in by the shadows.  PERFECT.  It wasn't long and we got buzzed by 2 geese.  We were so caught up in story telling that we never heard them coming!  After that we were on "high alert".  Pat spotted a flock about a mile away (LITERALLY) and I urged him to flag them in...he scoffed at me, but soon the flock turned and they were making a B-line for us! I was soooo giddy it was hard to keep quiet.  Pat called them in, and they fell for it all...they never once flared like they were frightened or spooked by our decoys.  I couldn't see them because of how well I covered my blind, so I had to rely on Pat to tell me when to pop out and shoot...At one point I looked up through the leaves and the birds were only about 30 feet above us (if that) and I could hear the "Wooooo-woooo-woooot" of their wings as they flew over.  It was so awesome!  Then Pat whispered "next pass" and I knew it was ON!  He yelled, "shoot em guys!" and we all popped up and by the time I spotted them and got my gun up they were too far to the right for me to get a comfortable shot off...not to worry though, TGG is a southpaw so it was perfect for him and Pat got a couple good shots as well! Feathers rained down and then I heard the unmistakeable "THUD" of a bird hitting the ground!  We had 2 birds down, Pat:1 TGG:  But I really didn't care! I was happy that we successfully called the birds in and we must have decoyed up perfectly as well.  It was awesome!  We saw one other flock a while later, but they were on a mission and heading for the bay, and far away.  So when it was time to pick up, that's just what we did but everyone was smiling at the end of the night.  Kyle came to help pick up and take some of the gear home and he even volunteered to clean the birds.  What a good sport! :o)  TGG headed home, and we headed back to the in-law's and we sat around telling them how awesome the night was and we ate a bowl of chicken soup and then it was time to hit the hay.
Pat and I headed home and it was late when we got here.  My raccoons were here and gone already, so I left out their treats just in case they swung back through in the wee hours of the night.  I was so wound up I couldn't fall asleep and I hadn't taken my medication on time so I decided to read the 2nd book in "The Vampire Diaries" until I got sleepy.  That wasn't until after 11:00 and I was slated to wake up at 3:15.  Well needless to say, that didn't happen.  The combination of taking my meds late and not getting to sleep late made it virtually impossible for me to wake up.  I remember the room spinning whenever I got my eyes open, but for the most part they just kept rolling back in my head.  Not a good situation when you think about the fact that I would be handling a deadly weapon.  So Pat softly told me it would be ok if I didn't go, that he and Kyle could wing it by themselves.  I know I agreed and then I was back out for the count.  A total TKO.  I didn't fully wake up until 11:00 and Pat hadn't come back.  So I called him and he told me that the fog was so thick that although they could hear the geese approaching, they couldn't see them.  So they came home empty handed and sleepy. 
Pat came over right around noon for the Packer game.  I had high hopes for them.  But they blew it.  Right from the start.  Every pass on the opening drive was dropped...and less than 2 minutes into the game, they had to punt it away.  The rest of the game was a blur of me swearing about Harris drawing penalities and A-Rod not getting rid of the ball and getting sacked FIVE TIMES BY THE SAME EFFING GUY!  They looked like a bunch of high school kids out there that had NO CLUE what was going on! If it wasn't for Charles Woodson and his interceptions that were converted  for TD's....they wouldn't have scored at all.  The Pack incurred a ton of injuries today as well, to an already injury-plagued starting line.  I yelled so much at the tv I had to laugh because normally I am yelling at my mom to settle down.  Today, it was ME.  And when "Ochocinco/TacoBurrito/NachoPedro" whatever his name was, pulled the Lambeau Leap into 3 Bengals fans, and the Packer fan flipped off the cameras swarming around him and yelled "FUCK YOU" (you could EASILY read his lips) I had to laugh harder because all I could think was, "dude, you just took the words right out of my mouth!"  The end of the game was even more tragic....The Pack managed to recover their on-side kick and could have tied the game...the passes were being completed and the time was being sucked off the clock so quickly...they had to continuously scurry to the line of scrimmage to spike the ball and stop the clock.  Finally, they were in TD range and the clock wound down seconds before one of the offensive linemen got set.  The game was over...just like that.  It was the worst game in the history of me watching the sport.  UGH.
After that, I was in a crappy mood.  I took a shower and then Pat and I ran to Shopko for some miscellaneous things I needed.  (Soap, shampoo, etc.)  But before I was getting ready, I put my contacts in and then I walked away from the mirror and somewhere from the mirror to the other side of the hall, I lost my contact, that previously I believed to have been put in my eye...I have NO IDEA where that thing went...and OF COURSE, it's my last pair and OF COURSE the vision center is closed at this time on a Sunday and so now I have to wait until tomorrow to see if they even have them in stock.  The bigger picture: I CANNOT hunt until I have them.  I don't wear glasses...I never have.  I went straight to contacts and never looked back.  So I pray that tomorrow morning when I call them, they have some GOOD NEWS and tell me they have a box of my special "Oasis" preservative free super silicone-ee contacts in stock.  Or it will be ANOTHER bad day!
On the up-side, my furry raccoon buddies showed up right on time tonight and they were just as comical as ever! I just can't get over how they fight over marshmallows! I mean...who knew?!
It's most definitely time for me to wind down.  I think I will continue reading my latest B&N e-reader book, The Shack.  I read the "Forward" today already and I'm intrigued....Thank goodness I don't need contacts to read!!!!!

Friday, September 18, 2009


Yesterday (Thursday) didn't go exactly as previously planned.  When I woke up, I had a massive headache, which pretty much 86'd all my wonderful ideas about canning the veggie soup.  Not only that, but, I forgot I needed carrots.  So the hubby and I re-planned the day. 
Up first, a ride to the woods to check out the new paint job on my deer stand.  The hubby and Mechanical Dan painted it for me a couple weeks ago.  It's pretty nice.  I mean, for a wooden tower in the middle of the woods!  I went up inside...and realized I need to get in there and CLEAN so bad!!  Windows that can't be closed (yet) attract birds and other critters and so they had made themselves at home.  It's ok.  Nothing a broom and dustpan can't fix!  I have pics...but they are on my camera and the camera is in my car, and the hubby has my car so....I'll have to insert them later.  Then I walked over to the memorial for my 2 kitties, Baby and Meegers.  I knelt down to say "hi" and to pet their cross and to clear some of the vegetation out of the way.  I'd like to maybe plant some flowers there...  Then we cruised the entire woods on my dad's quad.  So much fun! We rode past everyone's deer stands, inlcuding my Gramp's...he harvested alot of nice deer from that stand!! I remember all the stories!!  I really miss him.  Sometimes when I walk in the house, I half-expect to see him in his recliner, watching the Brewers like he always did.  But then I snap back to reality.  He's gone.  But to a much better place.  And I'll get to see him again someday, where I'm sure I'll find him in the "big recliner in the sky" watching the Brewers still.
Now, I had to get carrots.  So we headed to the garden and I took some pics of the flowers (again, on my camera...grrr.) and walked around and checked everything out and the hubby dug up the carrots and I was in charge of "de-topping and bagging."  Breezed by the in-law's to say "hi" and then it was back home so I could get in the shower. 
Mom, Pat and I went to Romy's (Kelly Lake) to finalize the plans for my dad's 60th surprise birthday party next month! And we dined on some of the finest tenderloin tips while we were there too!  Oh, they were so juicy and so yummy!  Mom and Pat were silly and ate a salad...ha, I'm way smarter than that! I waited for the good stuff!!  They were full by the time the meal hit the table! NOT ME!!! HAHAHAHA!
I told them prior to this little adventure that I needed to be home by 7:00 because my new favorite show was on, "The Vampire Diaries" did not disaapoint!  I don't care what anyone says, this is a goooooood show!  It's sort of "Buffy meets Twilight-ish".  Both of which are up my alley.  Stefan you can suck my neck ANY DAY!  The rest of the night was spent watching more tv.  Supernatural followed by the season primier of The Mentalist...which was soooooo good as well!  Love me some Simon Baker! :o)
So this morning Pat woke me up and it was straight to work I went.  Chopping, peeling, blanching (not in that specific order) vegetables and getting them ready to be canned.  It took a very long time, but by 1:00 I had something vaguely resembling the best veggie soup ever and Pat and Dad confirmed it!  Pat was eating right out of the pot...which I DID NOT LIKE!  I don't like being crowded when I'm workin' my cooking "mojo".  One batch is done, the other pressure cooking at 10 pounds as we speak.  I'm tired.  I can't wait to take a shower and get in my jammies! 
Tomorrow morning is cake tasting with Tiddy!! WOOT!!!  Love wedding planning! Especially the tasty parts!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

To The Farmers Market I Go, Hi-Ho-Hi-Ho!!!

Although today didn't have a good start, it got better.  My sis said she would pick me up after work and we would hit the GB Farmers Market so that made me happy.  I had been online the majority of the day but put my laptop to bed before I got ready to go.  When I came out Tina kept asking me why my laptop wouldn't open. I didn't understand what she meant until she showed me, IT WOULDN'T OPEN! Now this comes after not having it for like month, because I had shattered the LCD.  I finally got it back ($450.00 later) and now the damn thing won't open!?!  Yikes.  NOT COOL.  So before the FM we decided to swing by the PC shop and ask them what was up.  I tried opening it on the way there, but didn't wanna force it because it felt like if I did, "something" was going to snap.  We got there and the first tech that greeted us couldn't get it to open either.  She wasn't comfortable reef'n on it so she said she would take it back to the tech that originally worked on it.  She left and soon after she came back laughing.  The tech in back had opened it without ANY we tested it a few more times, and then decided it was fixed.  Cool.  Crisis averted.  So off to Tina's to meet mom when she was finished working so she could go to the FM with us.  I love the FM! There's so much there! Things you don't expect.  Like, for instance, I scored the absolute coolest dog treats for my pups!
The first is for Luke.  A peanut butter paw print sucker! It's as big as my hand! And it's got a rawhide stick.  The second ones are for Harm and Harley.  "Ice cream cones" filled with a doggy-friendly banana muffin and frosting with sprinkles! LOVE THESE!  They are from the Perfect Pet Gift Shop and Bakery.  I can't wait to get more. :o)
I also picked up a key lime rum cake that Weetabix raved about in her blog....
I have yet to dive into it...I was stupid and actually ate dinner tonight...shouldda just feasted on this cake! They offered free samples of the vanilla flavored cake and it was SINFULLY delish!  I'll let you know just how wonderful it is! YUM!
I also scored some necessities, corn on the cob, yellow wax beans, and some honey wheat bread.  I'm canning vegetable soup tomorrow and those were the only things I didn't have.  So tomorrow will be a busy day of me being all "Chef-ee" and taking over mom's kitchen once again!  I love cooking! :o)
The other thing at the FM that really caught my eye was the gorgeous array of flowers! OMG! I love flowers and the ones that were there today were fabulous! The zinnias, sunflowers, gladiolas, and some magenta colored pompus grassy stuff was awesome! I wished I could just lay down in the  middle of them all and stay there forever!
I need to back up a day and talk about my good friend Jeanne...well, all my friends really.  But yesterday was my day to hang with J.  She took me to GB to Cold Stone Creamery and treated me to ice cream.  I chose butter pecan with pecans and caramel....TO DIE FOR!!! YUM-O!  And then we were off to Barnes & Noble, a favorite place of mine, where I picked Julie & Julia and Julia Child's famous cookbook.  We stopped at a gas station where J bought me a lottery ticket and we vowed that if either of us won, we'd split it and the first thing we would do is jet off to Hawaii.  You have no idea how bad I want to win!!! Good luck J! 
It's been a rough week, but my girlfriends from far and near, have come through for me in ways you can't imagine.  They have spoiled me rotten and their kindness and love was just overflowing.  I'm so greatful and so lucky to have them. 
That pretty much brings me to the here and now, and here and now I am tired from a long day and need to rest so I'm ready to put my Chef-ee hat on tomorrow!

I Hate Money

I hate money.  Everything you do every single day is measured based on how much you have...or in my case, how much I DON'T have.  Being on disability is really hard for me.  I get paid once a month, and a huge chunk of it pays for a loan I took out to pay for medical expenses and past mistakes I made.  And this last month a lot of things happened...all at once.  A big thing was my laptop screen shattered and that ended up costing $450.00 to fix.  At the time, I had the money.  But my mistake came later.  That same day, I wrote a huge check for the cost of our hunt club hoodies ($600) and forgot about the pc bill.  How did I FORGET the pc bill?? I mean you would think every time I've logged on to my pc since then, it would be a constant reminder right?  Ya, not so much.  I don't know if all the drugs I am taking is messing with my mind or if the condition itself is messing with me but seriously, I whole heartedly FORGOT about that $450.  So now, I log on to my account, when yesterday I couldn't for whatever reason the stupid online banking system always gives me the finger, and I'm really really really REALLY in the hole and I don't get paid for another 7 days.  It's not just that I only get paid once a month, it's that the hubby is still unemployed and his checks have gotten smaller (how the fuck that can happen I still don't know...) and his money pays our health and vehicle insurance and he's pretty much broke.  I looked into a state funded health insurance and I was really taken by surprise when I saw that our money we bring in, together, is considered to be in the "poverty level."  I never thought of that "word" to describe us before...but....
It just sucks.  I WANT to work, and I CAN'T work.  I can't even drive.  I feel so helpless...and I want to LIVE. I don't want to sit home doing nothing.  If I'm sitting home, I want to be able to cook, or read books, or watch movies or whatever....but all of those things you must buy as well. 
I'm just so saddened and disgusted that I can't even think straight........AUGH.  I hate money.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Thank God Puppies Can Swim...

So I was flipping through the channels and I came upon the very beginning of Little House On The Prairie...I used to watch this show religiously when I was I only see it once in a while.  Strange how I can remember each episode after just seconds of the beginning of the show....
There were puppies, fluffy white puppies, with their mother (who by the way looked NOTHING like the pups).  And then in to the barn comes a man, a  tall dark figure (queue ominous music), and he kneels down to the dogs and he has a sack. A brown canvas sack.  He proceeds to put the pups in the sack.  The pups whimpering the entire time.  The hair on the back of my neck is now standing on end and my whole body begins to burn with sickness.  I have to keep telling myself "it's fake,'s FAKE!"  And still I'm riveted and couldn't stop watching.  He puts them in the back of his wagon and leaves for what I can only imagine, is a water source.  Cut to Laura and Mary racing to a pond.  The same pond, in fact, that the evil, nasty, puppy-drowning man is arriving at.  Laura hears the pups and inquires about what he's doing and he threatens them saying he'll "stick them" if they don't go away. (Ya know beat them with a stick.) The girls leave but don't go far...he throws the sack of puppies into the pond.  I got shivers...I'm right there, waiting for him to leave because, dammit! I'm going to save those puppies myself! Cut to Laura and Mary jetting out of the woods and diving in the pond...they retrieve the sack and they pull out three, albeit water-logged, puppies and they are all alive.  They have a slight scare when the believe the rock the man put inside the sack to make it sink, is a pup, that has not survived.  I was so relieved. 
I write this because I've noticed over the years that I've gotten really sensitive to issues of animal abuse...specifically cats and dogs and the disgusting cruel things people inflict on them.  I wonder, "what the fuck goes through their mind? How the hell do they justify hurting a poor defenseless animal? Do they have no conscience at all???"  It just makes me physically ill when the news is on and there are cases of animal abuse or mutilation or whatever....  I do EVERYTHING in my power to resurrect animals (strays) from the dead and there are others out there undoing all the good I've tried to do.  WTF? 
My pets bring me such joy.  Such unconditional love.  It doesn't matter to them what clothes I wear, if I have a job or not, if I'm sick or well, if I'm wearing makeup or not....they don't care if 2 seconds earlier I was infuriated by them misbehaving and I've yelled at them...they still cuddle up to me and purr and roll on their backs to let me scratch their tummies...HOW can anyone hurt such a being???
Look at me...I've gone all PETA on you!  I just love my furry children I guess. :o)

Monday, September 14, 2009

"Cache this"

I forgot to mention Saturday afternoon the hubby and I were back on speaking terms.  We headed out to the garden (where we can always find peace) and my flowers are so gorgeous! I don't want summer to end...or the blanket of color the flowers provide...but some have already gone to seed, so I set myself to collecting them.  I found seeds on some that I didn't even know made them, so it will be interesting to see if I can get them to grow! I love a challenge! Also, whoever said there is a shortage of bees is full of shit! I have ONE FLOWER (stonecrop) that had about 20 bees on it at one time! Honeys, bumbles, name it! Even one I've never seen looked like an all black bumble!  Cool...
Sunday morning began with a bang.  Had to head to Pulaski for the FIL's birthday party.  I ate waaaay too much, but still made room for the bestest cake in the world!  It was 3 layers of fudgy chocolate cake, and the greatest frosting you can ever even imagine! The MIL really knows cake! I should just start calling her "Mrs. Cake"....hmmm...I might give that a whirl....
Sunday night: the regular season opener for the Green Bay Packers.  Good grief.  It was white knuckles from the 1st to 4th quarter... Now I'm not one to get over excited about a football game...let alone YELL at the tv about "bogus calls" from the refs or pathetic effort by the QB.  But last night....I was a scream'n machine! As if they could hear me through the tv anyway! LOL  I remind myself of my grandpa D.  He used to yell at the refs all the time! In the end, the Pack prevailed, and made some stellar plays along the way.  A-Rod, you don't "suck" but you need work baby.  You're not the well-oiled machine that Favre was...but if you could focus a little bit, you'd be unstoppable!  And for God's sake...stop with all the penalties!! The refs WILL see it!!!  Here's to the beginning of what looks to be a great season!
Ahhhh...Monday...headed out with Ziggo to meet MN Amy in Shawano.  On Friday I left my sunglasses and phone charger in her truck.  How stupid am I? Thank goodness she didn't go back to MN right away! Anyway, she was a sweetheart and met us in Shawano to give it back.  Gotta love that girl.  A LOT.  It was great to see her again and give her a big hug, and she and Ali got me a gift....a cookbook for a G-free diet.  I read Elizabeth Hasslebeck's book about going G-free and all the things that can happen from a gluten allergy and I was like the poster child for all the symptoms.  It won't be an easy up my bread and pasta...oh no...those things are staples in my diet.  But at least this book gives me a starting point to decrease my G intake and hopefully eliminate it completely, along with a lot of my medical issures.  So MN Amy and Ali, thanks for the "new beginning"!  I will be sure to start using it ASAP and let you both know which recipes are awesome-est.  LOL 
After meeting MNA, we had to head back toward home where Ziggo had some bank business to attend to.  Then we got on with the fun stuff! We went geocaching! Zig's never gone before so it was uuber fun to introduce him to the game.  We found all small cache's but went through some treacherous terrain too.  I whacked my head on a beam underneath a bridge and it made a huge "GONG" sound...Zig thought it was a car passing over us, but no, it was indeed, the sound of my cranium meeting metal.  Ouch.  I still have a headache from that!  But in the end we found the cache and all was good.  I could see and walk straight so it was on to the next cache.  We visited my grandparent's on my mom's side in their cemetary (which got a fence upgrade since the last time I was there!! It's GORGEOUS!) and also visited my great grandparents (my dad's mom's parents) in their cemetary as well.  I patted each stone and said "hello" and "goodbye" each time I passed.  It was here where we looked in a pine tree for a cache and a dove flew out at us! I screamed out loud (not good thing to do in could have literally "woke the dead") and then we foudn out why...her nest was there with one baby dove and one egg.  So adorable! We didn't find the cache but I didn't care because seeing that little bird in that nest made me very giddy.  To see a new life beginning in a place where so many "end."  I used to get creeped out by cemetaries, and now, after my secret missions to my gramma's grave on the anniversary of her death and birthday each year, I find them peaceful, tranquil, beautiful even.  So today was no different.  I smiled at those I loved and even at some total strangers with very unique stones.  Cemetary monuments are beautiful.  And I'm so glad the world of geocaching brought them into my life.  I will post a couple pics tomorrow.  My head is still banging and this little girl needs some sleep after hiking  a few miles today in the blistering heat. 
PS The geese still have no patterning...the Mafia is beside themselves trying to "figure them out."  I'm actually looking forward to cooler weather and the "tail winds" to kick in to help push them south for the winter.  Good night all.  Sweet dreams.
PSS They never found the hispanic....

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Roger that...we've got a 10-80...

So this is not what I thought I would be doing at approximately 12:20am, while reading a book in bed, I heard sirens approaching. I got up and actually saw 3 cops go screaming past my house lights blazing, sirens whaling...they didn't go very far because I heard when they shut them off...hmmmm?? Shortly there after, an ambulance goes by with lights on but no sirens...hmmmmm??? Not 5 minutes later a vehicle pulls in our driveway. The headlights shut off and I can see a person lit only by the dome light inside. Then the headlights came back on...then the peraon comes walking up the sidewalk...oh thank god it's my older brother-but wait-WTF is he doing here at 12:30am? Doesn't really matter. He stopped to talk to the swarm of cops up the road and it turns out they are looking for a hispanic male wearing a white tshirt who obviously led them on a high speed chase resulting in him (the hispanic) crashing his vehicle just up the road from my house. And he fled the scene. We watched cops drive by slowly with their spot lights shining in the yards and fields and stopping at our neighbor's house to check things out. So of course I'm all bright eyed and bushy tailed (not) after my night last night and here I am now, wide awake, scared to go to bed because some stupid dipshit thinks he's too cool for school or something. Augh. I need sleep. I'm fucking exhausted. The last thing I heard while standing by an open window was a cop talking over his loud speaker, mumbling and then saying "this is the police"...but our neighbors are (were) having a party and they were talking loudly so I couldn't make the whole thing out. Now it's gone eerily quiet and I don't like it. We need a scanner. Then we'd know if they found the little creatan or not and I would know if it was safe to go to bed or not...hmmm. Note to self: buy a fucking scanner tomorrow! (Well today-but later today). Updates as they occur...Angi-out.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

She's In Ruins...

So I woke up Friday (yesterday) thinking it was going to be a GREAT day! I had plans with MN Amy to go see Julie & Julia and then I was to go goose hunting (if I was feeling well enough to) with the Mafia. Little did I know that God, himself, was planning to black-ball my ass for the day... I woke up and jumped on my laptop right away. We've been separated for almost a month now, so we are still "re-bonding". I logged onto the Mafia FB page and just for kicks and giggles I searched FB for "Goose Mafia" to see what the competition was up to. There's a couple "Snow Goose" Mafias and so I was just curious. And then I saw it...the first thing that ruined my day...some low-life high school punks are trying not only to steal the Mafia name, but to claim they were the "first". Only I know it's complete BS because if what they claim is true, they would have been 8 years old when the club was created. Yuh...don't think so that pushed my "get our logo and name trademarked" goal into fierce high gear. That was the FIRST bad thing that happened. So then I was off to see Julie & Julia with MN Amy. I was sooo happy to see her and we had a great time! The movie was light hearted and funny and I'm not a Meryl Streep fan but holy shit...her Julia Child character was spot-on! I saw in the credits that the movie was based on a book and so now of course I want it, along with Julia's famous Art of French Cuisine cookbook. weakness. Being with Amy, Julie and Julia was by far the highlight of my day. Amy went off to Appleton to meet Ali, and Pat came to pick me up. At first it was ok. But then I was telling him how Nick Barnett lost his dog. He was using Twitter as a vehicle to get the word out. Last I heard he had not found him and was fearing someone had "dog-napped" him. I told Pat it was probably someone who found out the dog belonged to Nick and thought...hey...I bet he'll offer a big reward! And somehow Pat and I got in a heated debate about having money and not having money and somehow, somewhere along the way, I ended up crying and we were no longer on speaking terms. I stared out the passenger window all the way home crying and yet, he never said a word. Not one. NOT ONE! So we got to his house and he turned to me and asked (or something) if I as still going hunting. I said "no". How could he think I could possibly just put on a happy face in front of the others and pretend nothing happened? But that is how he works...he thinks that if he just "ignores" it, "it" will go away and everything will be ok. It's partly my fault for letting him get away with such acts for so many years. But I just get tired of fighting and would rather spend my energy being happy and being the next day when we wake up, or when he "comes back" I just let it go. Note to self: BAD IDEA. Anyway I told him I could call my mom to pick me up from his parents and he could go hunting without me. But then he got bullheaded and insisted on taking me home. He didn't say a word while I cried all the way home. But before we left his parent's I asked why he has such a negative attitude toward me, our future, and life in general...."don"t you care about ANYTHING?" I asked. All he did was shrug his shoulders. So when we pulled in the driveway at home, I got out and said "thanks for not even caring enough to say a word to me while I cried all the way home"... He said, "hat was I supposed to say? You won't listen to me anyway!" Um...I know I'm no genius, but being locked in the car together pretty much insures a captive audience. It just killed me that he couldn't say "sorry" or "don't cry" or ANYTHING!!! So he left and I was left to lay crying in my room for the next four hours. After pouring my heart out to my mother (I'm pretty sure she was more than willing to hunt Pat don at that point) I just told her to leave me alone. She said she's had a hard time biting her tongue for THIS long and she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep doing it. She's heard all the disrespectful things he's said to me, and how whenever I'm happy about ANYTHING he manages to say something or do something to completely wreck it for me. So there I was, laying in ruins. He didn't call, he didn't text. Even after I texted him several times, with the last one saying I was "afraid to tell him not to come home unless he was going to start acting like my husband, and to be there for me and quit acting like a child, because then I'm afraid he really WOULDN'T come back"'d think something of that magnitude would warrant SOME kind of response...but nope...silence. And maybe that hurt me just as much. Because I knew he as out hunting with his buddies and wasn't even thinking or caring about what had transpired between us. I was sure he wasn't coming home. Then around 8:30 I get the most pitiful text from him "do you want me to come over?" WTF?! I proceeded to tell him I wanted him to come home if he would be my husband. Not a "boy" who thought it is acceptable to put his wife 2nd in every situation and to have a better attitude all around. By that point my eyes were almost swelled shut and I could barely even see my phone and I was utterly exhausted. And I fell asleep. I woke up later that night and rolled over with my head throbbing and blurred memories of what was happening...and then the bed moved. It took me a second or two to process that information and hen I did I freaked out and jumped up and looked and he was there. And all he said was "what?" OMFG. The dude STILL couldn't show an ounce of fucking compassion as I'm laying there gripping the last part of a roll of toilet paper (ran out of tissues) and I still had tears on my face and he never even tried to touch my hand or say sorry or that he loved me. Oh no. I get a blank, emotionless "what"? Fuck you. I didn't have the energy. I rolled over and fell asleep. Even my dreams were plagued of events of him not caring about me. So the events were still very much in the front of my mind. When I woke up he was there, but still wouldn't say anything (surprise surprise). I couldn't even look at him. I rolled away from him and stared at the wall with tears streaming down my cheeks again wondering how the hell we got to this point. What had I done? What did I do or say wrong??? Wait!!! How could I think this was all MY fault? Maybe because of the few words he DID say the day before, among them was that I was "mean" to him. So I asked how? How am I mean to you? WHEN was I mean to you???? And funny part is, he couldn't cite one instance. Pfffft. Finally he said he was leaving if I wouldn't talk to him. Omg. That opened the gates and I let loose. In the end, I pretty much gave in. Maybe because I was exhausted or maybe cause I am stupid. Finally with a sigh I said "will you please bring me a fork?" He said, "why do you want a fork?". Omg is he really so stupid to actually ask me that???!! "Just get me a damn fork!" So he went and I walked over to where the last piece of blackberry pie was "hid" and grabbed the plate. When he came back in he saw the pie and it finally clicked why I wanted the fork. The situation warranted a small giggle from us both, and although I STILL haven't gotten an apology, he did manage to say "I love you". My response?? "I love you too, but, you need to quit being an asshole."

Thursday, September 10, 2009

And So It Begins....

I've been dying...well not "dying"...but really WANTING to start a blog for a long time now. I'm not even sure what it is that I'm writing it for...maybe because of my financial/social/career situation. It's all very complicated which you will all find out soon enough. Maybe it's just a way for me to fill the "void" in my life. Or maybe it's a way for me to feel as though I've "accomplished" something. No matter how you look at it, I think it's going to be a good thing. A fun thing. And I'm looking forward to future posts. I'm hopoing to be able to link this to my Facebook page as well. Ahhh, I have so much to do........ Well, this is the beginning of "My Charmed Life". :0)